Bishop Cliff Fletcher
Cliff Fletcher, D.Min., is the bishop of the Free Methodist Church in Canada. He holds a Bachelor of Arts degree from Carleton University, a Master of Divinity degree in marriage and family therapy from Tyndale Seminary, and a Doctor of Ministry degree in leadership development from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. He is a member of the Ontario College of Psychotherapists as well as being a spiritual director. He has been married to his best friend, Karlene (a worship and creative arts director), for more than 30 years, and together they have two children: Abby (married to Josh) and Greg. He loves praying, reading, kayaking, hiking, cross-country skiing, and traveling with Karlene and family. This article originally appeared earlier this year in his CliffsNotes newsletter, and it is reprinted here with permission in recognition of Pastor Appreciation Month and this month’s “Prayer and Spiritual Warfare” theme.
By Bishop Cliff Fletcher
Maybe we were unusually blessed, but my family’s experience in the pastorate was very positive. The church families we were welcomed into loved our kids, and they extended to my wife, Karlene, and me life-giving and lifelong friendships.
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“The pastor’s spouse is one of the most difficult and thankless positions in the church.”
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Yes, I believe deeply that, as a pastor, I am called to lead a church family, serve the church family, and befriend. The leadership skill I am referring to is to be able to socialize and still create a corporate experience or culture, where no one is feeling left out, or outside of the clique or popular kids. I believe the pastoral calling includes being able to play, laugh or cry in such a way as to model Christ in all situations — even in a tense church baseball league! Admittedly this can be a difficult thing, but Jesus called His followers “friends,” and they were family.
The pastor’s spouse is one of the most difficult and thankless positions in the church. It can be beautiful, nurturing, satisfying and encouraging. It can also be lonely, heart-breaking, confusing, frustrating, and downright discouraging. Here are some suggestions on how you might pray for and support pastors’ spouses:
Pray for their spiritual protection.
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“Ask God to shield the pastor’s spouse from the attacks of the evil one.”
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There is real spiritual warfare surrounding the pastor and pastor’s family. If the enemy can discourage the pastor’s spouse, he can effectively impact the ministry. Ask God to shield the pastor’s spouse from the attacks of the evil one.
“But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high” (Psalm 3:3).
“But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one” (2 Thessalonians 3:3).
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes” (Ephesians 6:10–11).
Pray for their relationships with their children.
Ask God to give them wisdom and insight as they seek to raise their children in a Christ-honoring way.
Pray for their emotional and physical well-being.
Ask God to provide special sources of joy, creative ways to express their unique personality, and fulfilling ways to remain physically active.
“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Thessalonians 5:23).
Pray that God will surround them with loyal and meaningful friendships.
Pray about how you will minister to and love the pastor’s family.
Pray that God will supply all their needs.
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).
Pray that God will give them wisdom and insight as they counsel others.
“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience” (Colossians 1:9-11).
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“Pastors’ spouses should be encouraged to serve in places that allow them to use their unique giftedness.”
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Pray that God will show them how to use their spiritual gifts in the church.
Pastors’ spouses should be encouraged to serve in places that allow them to use their unique giftedness. They should not be expected to fill every role that is traditionally held by “the pastor’s spouse.”
Pray that they will know the love of God, experience the peace of God, and walk in the grace of God.
Pray that they will learn to live as a new creation of great worth, deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing to the Father, totally accepted by God and absolutely complete in Christ.
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Bishop Cliff Fletcher
Cliff Fletcher, D.Min., is the bishop of the Free Methodist Church in Canada. He holds a Bachelor of Arts degree from Carleton University, a Master of Divinity degree in marriage and family therapy from Tyndale Seminary, and a Doctor of Ministry degree in leadership development from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. He is a member of the Ontario College of Psychotherapists as well as being a spiritual director. He has been married to his best friend, Karlene (a worship and creative arts director), for more than 30 years, and together they have two children: Abby (married to Josh) and Greg. He loves praying, reading, kayaking, hiking, cross-country skiing, and traveling with Karlene and family. This article originally appeared earlier this year in his CliffsNotes newsletter, and it is reprinted here with permission in recognition of Pastor Appreciation Month and this month’s “Prayer and Spiritual Warfare” theme.
