Ben Tolly

Ben Tolly

Ben Tolly is serving his third term as superintendent of the Gateway Conference. During his time as superintendent, this Free Methodist conference has halted a decade-long decline in churches by planting new churches of many styles and invigorating Latino, Nepali, Central African and African American ministries. He previously served as the director of Men’s Ministries International and on staff at Crossroads Community Church in Michigan, and he was the founding pastor of The Bridge Church in Illinois. He received his master’s degree in leadership and ministry from Greenville University. He currently serves on the Project Scotland Board and St. Louis Urban League Grill to Glory Support Team and has previously served on the Greenville University Board of Trustees, Briner School of Business Advisory Board, and Edwardsville YMCA Board. He has two daughters, Willow (married to Mike) and Winter, and his wife, Julie, is employed by the U.S. Defense Department.

By Ben Tolly

Many of us have an insecurity about the unknown, and it can be difficult for people to sit with their thoughts about the future.

When I was a senior in high school, I was diagnosed with a broken back that ended my basketball season before it began. I had been named captain of the team only weeks earlier. Now I was dealing with the knowledge that I would never step on the court for my senior season. Instead, I would undergo a brutal surgery, spend three months in a body cast, and wheel myself around the school lying flat on a special wheelchair. I would go on to spend an additional six months in a back brace.

On the eve of my surgery, I spoke to my grandparents on the phone. Understandably I was anxious about what I was about to face. Before we ended our conversation, they prayed for me. Then my grandmother said to me, “Benjie, God is already in that surgical room. You can depend on Him.” I have carried that encouragement through many difficult moments or gatherings with unknown outcomes.

Big events can intimidate us, and the Free Methodist General Conference is a big event full of unknowns. However, when it comes to special gatherings, especially one that only happens once every four years, we can choose to show up dependent on God and trust that He is already present. By relying on God, we participate in a way that connects us to Him and to others.

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“God is already there and ready to meet us.”

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Like my grandmother said 37 years ago, it’s important to remember that God is already present. Whether we are gathering for discussion, debate, instruction, contemplation, prayer, worship, or fellowship, God is already there. We don’t need to bring Him with us from whichever state we dwell or summon Him to the gathering. Instead, we can enter the gathering with a sense of expectation and anticipation, knowing that God is already there and ready to meet us. As one of our favorite verses states, “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?” (Psalm 139:7). This can be a great source of comfort and reassurance, especially if we are feeling anxious or unsure about the tasks before us.

Play Your Part

Each of us has a role to play at General Conference 2023. While it’s true that God is the main focus of GC23, that doesn’t mean that each of us personally doesn’t have a part to play. Whether it’s singing, praying, or simply being present and attentive, our unique participation is important. By showing up and being present, each of us demonstrates willingness to be a part of the Free Methodist community and to engage with others. This can be especially meaningful in our society at a time when so many causes threaten to fracture us. Being in the room, praising and worshipping God together, respectfully listening and responding to one another are important parts of the experience.

This takes a willing heart. As Henri Nouwen wrote, “Community is first of all a quality of the heart. It grows from the spiritual knowledge that we are alive not for ourselves but for one another.”

Our role is not to star, but to participate. While it can be tempting to want to be the center of attention or to take on a leadership role in the gathering, that is not necessarily what God is calling all of us to do. Author and counselor Craig Lounsbrough has said, “Never fool yourself into believing that your agenda is sufficiently worthy to somehow justify the manipulation of the people whom you wish to impose it upon.”

Instead, let us begin with a servant’s heart. We each must focus on being a humble and willing participant, open to whatever God has in store for us. This can be a challenging mindset to adopt for any of us. If you are a delegate or otherwise attending GC23, chances are high that you and I will be present because we are seen as leaders in some way. We often are used to being in control or taking charge. However, by letting go of our own desires and agendas and trusting in God, we can experience joy, accomplishment, and a deeper sense of peace and contentment at GC23. 

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“This can be a powerful reminder of our place in the world and our relationship with God.”

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A beautiful truth is that our participation in the gathering connects us to God and each other. By showing up and participating in GC23, we vibrantly acknowledge our dependence on God and our need for the FM community. This can be a powerful reminder of our place in the world and our relationship with God. It can also be a way to connect with others who are on a similar journey, sharing experiences and insights that can help us all grow in faith and understanding. If we desire to make any progress on the mission God has placed before us, we must begin every day of our lives with new eagerness for fellowship with God and His people.

God Is Always Present

God was indeed already present in that surgical room for me so many decades ago. Grandma was right as grandmothers often are. The surgeon was inspirationally guided to address existing problems of which he didn’t have knowledge prior to opening me up. Knowing that God’s presence blessed in such a tangible manner has enabled me to regularly expect such with many moments I enter without prior knowledge of the outcome. My story of God’s faithful presence may even prompt in your memory a similar personal story of God’s faithful presence. What a book we could write together on such moments!

Are you with me? I intend to show up dependent on God for GC23. I am expecting it to be a powerful and transformative experience. By acknowledging God’s presence, participating in a humble and willing way, and connecting with others, we can deepen our relationship with God and experience the power of the FM community. Whether we are involved in discussion, debate, instruction, contemplation, prayer, worship, or fellowship, let us show up with an open heart and a willingness to be present, trusting that God will meet us there and guide us on our journey.

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Ben Tolly

Ben Tolly

Ben Tolly is serving his third term as superintendent of the Gateway Conference. During his time as superintendent, this Free Methodist conference has halted a decade-long decline in churches by planting new churches of many styles and invigorating Latino, Nepali, Central African and African American ministries. He previously served as the director of Men’s Ministries International and on staff at Crossroads Community Church in Michigan, and he was the founding pastor of The Bridge Church in Illinois. He received his master’s degree in leadership and ministry from Greenville University. He currently serves on the Project Scotland Board and St. Louis Urban League Grill to Glory Support Team and has previously served on the Greenville University Board of Trustees, Briner School of Business Advisory Board, and Edwardsville YMCA Board. He has two daughters, Willow (married to Mike) and Winter, and his wife, Julie, is employed by the U.S. Defense Department.