Ad Hominem Ad Nauseam: On Disagreement, Dialogue, and the Way of Jesus

By Bruce N. G. Cromwell

All of us are creatures of our environment. The families in which we are raised, the communities in which we live, the places where we get our news, the churches in which we worship, they all have a role in shaping our worldview and our outlook on life.

I was baptized in the Free Methodist Church by my uncle, a denominational leader, when I was nine days old. And I grew up going to a small Free Methodist church in Southern Illinois every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night up through my high school years. It all shaped and continues to influence my life.

The same is certainly true of our education. I went to Greenville College (now Greenville University), one of our AFMEI schools, and it reinforced not only my faith but also particularly the Free Methodism that I had been in from my birth. I was further influenced when I was doing my graduate studies at St. Louis University. One of the primary things the Jesuits and Franciscans who taught me stressed over and over again was that we all needed to have thick skin when it came to our work.

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 “Personal attacks, also known as ad hominem arguments, shift the focus from what someone’s words or actions are like to what the person is like.”

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The seminar style in most of my doctoral classes involved open critique of our research from both tenured professors who had expertise in the field and other students who were at various stages of completing our own Ph.D.s. We were expected to point out if someone had made poor conclusions or perhaps had missed significant sources in their research. It was common to receive pushback on our bad translation of primary texts, or even to be corrected in simple grammar.

And the counsel about having thick skin was needed, for I don’t know anyone who likes to receive constructive criticism. It was never fun to be told we were mistaken or perhaps missing the point. Nonetheless, it helped all of us to become better scholars. Iron sharpens iron, after all. Healthy dialogue and constructive feedback, done with respect, are good and necessary things in growing both as individuals and as a community.

The only rule that was absolutely enforced was that nobody could ever make ad hominem arguments in critiquing a paper. In other words, it was totally permissible and appropriate to say that one’s work was subpar, or insufficient, or inconclusive, to say that it was bad scholarship. But it was never permissible to say that the person was a bad scholar. Personal attacks, also known as ad hominem arguments, shift the focus from what someone’s words or actions are like to what the person is like.

Unfortunately, this seems all too common today.

If I disagree with you, I get demonized, not my opinions. If I point out that I have a different perspective, I’m accused of being too progressive or too right-wing (depending on where you stand). Rarely are our differing thoughts discussed in a matter that seeks awareness and maybe even a place of agreement. It can be hard to find people who can engage in actual debate and discuss actual topics. Instead, we simply mudsling and try to “win” our argument by making fun of, insulting, or putting down the other. Or we manipulate the conversation such that what we fashion as a debate is little more than gaslighting another in a rigged dialogue to prove our point.

None of this was ever the way of Jesus.

Our Lord met people where they were, and He always fronted with grace. Though never one who could be accused of being soft on sin, He nonetheless was known to be a friend of sinners. I have to believe a major part of that was due to how He related to others, even and especially those who perhaps didn’t agree with His message. He told us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). Surely that’s an even higher bar than simply listening with respect to someone with whom we disagree! But if He told us to do it, we can, and we should.

Do we? Do we have, as Saint Anselm of Canterbury famously posited, a faith seeking understanding? Do we want to grow, like our Lord, in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and others, or do we simply want to reinforce what we already have decided is right? Group think and confirmation bias are very real, and very hard to avoid. Again, they are certainly a part of what continually shapes us and forms us. But it is good to listen respectfully to those who were shaped and formed differently.

Words and Actions

What we believe is important. Doctrine matters. It is good to be able to give an answer for the hope that is within us. Apologetics matters.

But our faith is not grounded in some abstract ideology or denominational certitude. It is about living and loving like Jesus. It’s a lifestyle, welcoming the Holy Spirit into our lives every day and doing all we can to follow our Lord. We’re supposed to be like Jesus, after all — not just worship Him. We’re supposed to be witnesses to the hope that is within us, testifying through how we live what a saved life looks like, not just preaching salvation and telling others to repent. This is the meaning behind the saying (often attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi) that we should “preach the gospel at all times, and when absolutely necessary to use words.”

To be clear, our words matter. There are places where the Bible is very clear about what is God’s will and what is not, and it is always good to know the difference as we all seek to live a life of holiness that honors our Lord. Not every position is aligned with God’s will. If I seek to get revenge on those who have hurt me, rather than to forgive and turn the other cheek as Jesus instructed (Matthew 5:39), I cannot claim to be following His Word. If I refuse to do things for another unless there’s something in it for me first, rather than to give freely and generously and expect nothing in return (Luke 6:35), I cannot claim to be in step with what Jesus said. Some things are right and some things are wrong, and it is OK and necessary to be able to discern them and point them out.

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 “Our task is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves.”

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But let us be careful to not so quickly and easily label people with whom we disagree and who may be in error in how they live and what they profess. We believe that all life is sacred. All of it, from conception to the grave, regardless of where one is born or where one currently lives. We believe that all are made in the image of God. That imago Dei may seem hidden, but it still remains. God desires that none should perish; 2 Peter 3:9 is very clear in that. Do our actions and words reflect that hope for reconciliation, redemption, and renewal for others, or do we more often simply want to defend our position and prove we are “right”?

Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak

I pray that in our increasingly diverse world we are gracious women and men, quick to listen and slow to speak. I pray that we can all learn how to better disagree like Christians, with patience, knowing that God is the Lord of all. It is God’s place to judge, after all — not ours. Our task is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Calling people names, labeling them in certain ways, is not loving.

In all of this, again, our focus should not be to “win.” For as we sometimes sing, we already have victory in Jesus. It’s not even to be “right.” Winning an argument does nothing if our lifestyle and approach don’t help us to partner with the Holy Spirit in winning souls. No, our calling is to be holy. It’s to be good. It’s to do justly and to love mercy. It’s to pursue righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. In all of our writings, all of our social media posts, all of our conversations, that should be all that matters.

So, when we speak the truth, allow me to gently suggest that we always do so in love. If we feel the need to point out that a position is contrary to our understanding of God’s will, let us be careful to not say that the person is anti-Christ.

And let us always seek first God’s kingdom. Here’s to doing it together, even when we disagree.

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